Starvation
by Hikaru R. Kudou
Summary: Shounen ai / Slash; SanzoXGoku. COMPLETED and EDITED. Goku thinks he's nothing but trouble to Sanzo, and he decides the first step to cease annoying Sanzo is controlling his eating habits. Will Goku succeed? And how will Sanzo react?
1. Chapter One

**Title:**Starvation  
**Chapter: **1/2   
**Authoress: **Hikaru R. Kudou  
**Genre: **Shounen ai, General, Romance, mild Angst, mild Humour  
**Pairings:** Sanzo/Goku, Gojyo/Hakkai  
**Warnings:** Quite OOC, the authoress's poor English, a little cliché-d, typing errors  
**DISCLAIMER: **Minekura Kazuya-sensei owns Saiyuki, I own the storyline, additionally Sanzo and Goku belong to each other.

Authoress's Notes: My first Sanzo/Goku fic. If there's any fic that is similar or quite similar to this one here, I apologize profusely. It's purely coincidental.  
            I think the fic's one of those overused clichés, but I might be mistaken. Oh, well…enjoy the story! *bows*  
*_Thoughts are in italic_.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

            It was a beautiful day, where the chirps of the birds were in a harmonious rhythm, as if composing a divine piece of music for the gods, humans and youkais alike.  
            Yet, a note was out of place.  
            "YURUSEI!!!!" *thwack, thwack, thwack—one for Gojyo, the rest for Goku*  
            "Itai!! Sanzo~!!!" wailed Goku.  
            "Oh dear…here we go again…" commented Hakkai.  
            "Damned corrupt monk…" muttered Gojyo, touching the lump on his head gingerly.  
            "I see we're approaching a town," declared Hakkai, "Let's step on it, Hakuryu!"  
            And so they found themselves a motel, where they were hoping to stay for a while before they continue to be on their journey. Oh, and to have lunch, on top of that.  
            Goku sniffed the air. "Wow! The buns smell nice!"  
            Hakkai was busy talking to the waiter. "Saa…we'd like to have…" He pointed to numerous dishes listed in the menu.  
            Gojyo chipped in comically, "Na, Hakkai…are the words 'beautiful girls' anywhere in the menu?"  
            Sanzo, impatient as ever, flicked his cigarette lighter on.  
            The waiter noted what Sanzo was doing. "Ano…sumimasen…but this is a non-smoking restaurant…"  
            Sanzo, his eyes narrowed, glared murderously at the poor waiter, his eyes emitting fire of anger. Consequently, the waiter flinched in fear. "…but I'm sure one exception won't really hurt…"  
            "Hn." Sanzo lighted his cigarette and got up to leave.  
            "Where are you going, Sanzo? The food is not here yet…" questioned Goku.  
            Sanzo retorted after tossing the cigarette box in with an air of displeasure. "None of your business." He left the restaurant, ignoring Goku who was calling out to him.  
            "Sanzo! Sanzo!"  
            The waiter, as he served their food, stated, "Just so you know, it's not safe to wander around alone in this town."  
            Goku looked at him, perplexed. "Ah? Doushite?"  
            "Youkais going berserk, you see. Happens everyday. A huge number of them, too. That's why this town seems dead at a glance."  
            "Naruhodo." Hakkai fingered his chin. "That explains why the streets are empty."  
            "You've nothing to worry about." Gojyo folded his arms, smiling confidently. "That decadent monk has his own ways of dealing with youkais. He can take care of himself."  
            Out of the blue they heard cackling laughter. Intrigued, they rushed to the window to have a look at what was going on.  
            "Youkais…I should say there are about 40 of them…" informed Hakkai.  
            "Look!" Goku pointed in realization. "Isn't that Sanzo in the middle of them?"  
            Sure enough, nobody could overlook that bright yellow fleck of hair sticking out of the mob of youkais.  
            Youkai #1 was scoffing. "What do you know…it's a Sanzo!"  
            "We can't let a good opportunity of gaining immortality go to waste, now can we?" Youkai #2 rubbed his hand gleefully.  
            Sanzo murmured coldly under his breath. "*******s." Without warning, he started shooting every single youkai down  
            In the restaurant, the four were still goggling at Sanzo's outstanding feat. The waiter was awed beyond words.  
            "…simply amazing…"  
            "Sanzo!!" cried Goku.  
            "He did it again. He wiped out all 40 of them—without our help," said Gojyo.  
            "He's extra touchy today…" Hakkai observed.  
            They continued to watch the blond monk until he disappeared from sight. Goku, Hakkai and Gojyo then returned to their seats.  
            "Should we wait for him?" asked Hakkai.  
            "Nah, let's dig in." Gojyo grabbed a pair of chopsticks.  
            Hakkai and Gojyo began to eat, the former occasionally popping pieces of meat into Hakuryu's mouth. But something was missing.  
            "Goku…? Why aren't you eating?" Suddenly he felt odd asking the last possible question on the planet to Goku.  
            "Something's wrong with the monkey." Gojyo arched an eyebrow.  
            "Ne, Hakkai…" Goku started, "why is Sanzo mad?"  
            "He's always mad," pointed out Gojyo.  
            "But today he's worse than ever. His temper, I mean."  
            "Now that you mentioned it, the last time he was more peeved than right now was when it rained…"  
            "anzo hit me with his harisen more than once at a time…that means he's very angry with me, doesn't it?"  
            Hakkai and Gojyo did not know what to say in response. They realized Goku knew and recognized Sanzo for a longer duration of time compared to them.  
            "Is it because I keep on nagging him for food? Is my mere presence a disturbance, a reason for Sanzo to be irritated?"  
            "No, Goku, you must not think—" objected Hakkai kindly.  
            Goku lowered his head miserably. "Shikashi…I cannot control my hunger…I can't help myself…"  
            "He understands, Goku, trust me…"  
            Goku was clearly suppressing his tears. "How would you know, Hakkai? Nobody can really decipher Sanzo…"  
            "You think too much…"  
            Goku stood up at a snail's pace. "I…I'm taking a stroll…"  
            "But it's too dangerous out there. You look exhausted—how are you going to defend yourself if any youkai attacks you?"  
            "I think he needs some time to be alone," Gojyo said. "Saru, chotto, don't go anywhere." The pink-haired half-youkai called the waiter, who attended to them at once – since he had no other customer.  
            "Yes?"  
            "Is there a vacant room in the motel? This saru needs to rest." Gojyo pointed his thumb in Goku's direction.  
            "I believe so. I can fix up for one with the motel keeper."  
            "Thank you very much." Hakkai beamed gratefully to him.  
            Without much protest, Goku departed with the waiter. The former had no mood to do anything else, thus he went on with Gojyo's idea.  
            "He's taking it really hard," remarked Hakkai.  
            "Honestly, Hakkai, those two lovebirds have enough problems to last them for a lifetime."  
            "Lovebirds? Ah, I knew there was something going on between them…"  
            "Yeah, you and the rest of the shounen ai and yaoi fangirls."  
            "What should we do? We can't just watch tem and their love only spinning on air. I mean, poor Goku…"  
            "I know that, Hakkai…but this is one problem we shouldn't solve. Just leave it to Sanzo."  
            "Sou da na…" A long sigh.  
            "Let's worry about something more important, shall we? Like…let's worry about us…" Gojyo smiled suggestively.

            In the motel room, Goku was all by himself. Curling on the cosy bed like a sleeping baby monkey snuggling close to its mother, deep in the latter's motherly hug.  
            Except that Goku was alone.  
            Slowly the boy opened his eyelids. His eyes, those golden orbs that used to shine with innocent enthusiasm, now had lost the light that breathed life into them; give the impression of absolute weariness. The same eyes fell upon one corner of the room, where the sunlight coming through the window descended from the firmament.  
            '_If this was deep underground, I wouldn't have wished for the sun…'_  
            He recalled those words only too easily. His fingers slid together and folded, forming a fist.  
            He thought his existence was a burden to Sanzo.  
                        Flashback  
            Goku yelled out. "Sanzo…I'm hungry~!"  
            "Yurusei, baka saru!" Sanzo took his potent harisen out and slammed it on Goku's head.  
            Gojyo had to stiffen his amused chuckles, which only gave Sanzo a reason to whack him as well.  
            "As if a troublesome saru who only eats is not enough a nuisance…" Sanzo mumbled crossly.  
                        End of Flashback  
            _That's it! I'll refrain myself from eating…maybe that way I won't pester Sanzo anymore…maybe he won't hate me…_

            After hours of performing his disappearing act, Sanzo finally returned to the motel, where Gojyo and Hakkai were still struggling to finish the abundant amount of food on their table. Hakuryu was refusing another of Hakkai's offerings, motioning at its round stomach.  
            Gojyo leaned back on his chair. "I've never eaten so much before…"  
            Hakkai agreed whole-heartedly. "Maa…neither have I…Oh, Sanzo, you're back."  
            Sanzo sat down indifferently. "Goddamned town."  
            "A-re?"  
            "This damned town doesn't have anything. Worthless piece of crap…"  
            "I cannot blame them. The townspeople locked themselves in their homes to avoid running into youkais."  
            "Ch'. I killed all of those pesky youkais."  
            "Hai, hai. One of these days they're going to call you the youkai-buster," Gojyo interjected.  
            "Shut up if you know what's good for you."  
            Gojyo only managed to glare at the monk.  
            At this point Sanzo noticed the unoccupied chair—formerly Goku's. Sanzo, curious of Goku's absence and whereabouts, wanted to ask the two but he stopped himself as he became conscious that the question was rather un-Sanzo-like. No, scratch that. **Very **un-Sanzo-like.  
            Of course, Gojyo and Hakkai deduced what was going on in Sanzo's head. Hey, it doesn't take a detective to figure that one out, especially since Sanzo's deep heliotrope eyes were glued to Goku's seat.  
            Hakkai explained helpfully, "By the way, Goku's taking a nap. You don't mind, I hope?"  
            Sanzo deliberately snorted loudly in contempt. "Whatever."  
            "Ano…should we move now?" Hakkai wiped his hands with a napkin.  
            "Hrm. We're wasting time in this lacklustre place."  
            "Perhaps we should ask the waiter to pack all these leftovers? Just in case the saru gets hungry on the way?" asked Gojyo.  
            "That's a revolutionary idea, Gojyo!" nodded Hakkai. "Who knows how much he's going to eat once he wakes up, na?"  
            Gojyo glanced at the blond. _Damn it, isn't Sanzo going to ask anything about Goku?_  
            Sanzo acted as if he was not at all interested in Gojyo and Hakkai's topic of conversation, but he could no longer keep his enquiries about Goku to himself. He simply **had **to ask, for his own sake. His anxiety was driving his sanity all the way to the nearest asylum.  
            "Oi."  
            _Woo-hoo! He's going to ask at last! Strike one for the home team!  
            _"Hai?" Hakkai smiled encouragingly at Sanzo.  
            "How long has the saru been sleeping?"  
            "Ever since you were gone."  
            "Masaka…"  
            "Sanzo, you wouldn't demur to waking Goku up, would you?"  
            Sanzo grunted again. Hakkai took this as a positive answer that he thanked him.  
            "Thank you so much."  
            Sanzo, after asking the fellow behind the counter regarding Goku's temporary room, ascended the staircase. He treaded on the corridor until he reached the end. He twisted the doorknob noiselessly.

- - - - - - [tsuzuku] - - - - - -

Authoress's Notes: Not much going on in this chapter, but the next one is almost 97.9% Sanzo/Goku-ish. Hai, please wait for the continuation! Meanwhile, leave me a review, onegai shimasu! *bows* Thanks again for reading!


	2. Chapter Two

**Title:**Starvation  
**Chapter: **2/2   
**Authoress: **Hikaru R. Kudou  
**Genre: **Shounen ai, General, Romance, slight Angst, slight Humour  
**Pairings:** Sanzo/Goku, Gojyo/Hakkai  
**Warnings:** Quite OOC, the authoress's poor English, a little cliché-d, copious typing errors (should there be any)  
**DISCLAIMER: **Minekura Kazuya-sensei owns Saiyuki, I own the storyline as well as my computer, additionally Sanzo and Goku belong to each other.

Authoress' Notes: I'm really sorry for the short chapters! *bows in apology* Thank you very much for the generous reviews! On the side note, I edited the whole fic. I knew I should've written it in essay form…

- - - - - - - - - - - -

            The first thing Genjo Sanzo saw was none other than Son Goku. The monkey had dozed off to sleep without he himself knowing.  
            Sanzo approached the figure. Goku had his back to Sanzo, so the cleric could not perceive Goku's hand clutching his unfilled stomach. Sanzo scanned Goku's pose for a moment, his eyes marvelling the perfect masterpiece before him, feeling quite reluctant to disrupt Goku in his serene moment of slumber. Every cell of Goku's seemed to radiate innocence that it would be a sinful crime to ruin the picture.  
            However, Sanzo knew he had no other alternative. "Saru! Oi, saru! Wake up!"  
            Goku gave a sleepy moan, but he woke up immediately as soon as the voice registered itself in his grey-cells. "Sanzo…?!" He nearly ejaculated.  
            "We're moving now. Unless you're staying behind…"  
            "Iie…I'm ready to go." Goku stood up quickly and darted towards the door. He paused momentarily.  
            "Nan da?" scowled Sanzo.  
            Goku turned his head slightly to the left, barely allowing Sanzo to see his worn-out face. "I…I'm sorry, Sanzo."  
            Sanzo did not answer. What was there for him to say?  
            The hand that was on the door tightened its grip. Goku bowed his head in remorse. Before Sanzo could sprout a question, the boy had run away, leaving Sanzo silent with confusion.

            Their journey was resumed shortly after Sanzo rejoined them. Goku eyed the really huge box that was next to Gojyo.  
            "Felt better, Goku?" asked Hakkai.  
            A hesitant answer. "I…I think so…"  
            Gojyo, discerning what Goku was doing, tapped the box playfully. "You want to open this little baby?"  
            "Er…no…that would not be necessary…"  
            Sanzo, meanwhile, was frowning thoughtfully to himself, pondering why—and how—in the world had Goku lost his genki-ness. If he did not know any better, he could have sworn that Goku was not Goku.  
            Hakkai's smile was fading. "Goku, you're not feeling well, are you?"  
            Gojyo added, "Goku not eating? Has the sun risen from the west? Is it the end of the world already?"  
            Goku faked a smile. "No, no, no! I'm all right, see?" He feigned laughter.  
            Everybody knows Sanzo, Hakkai and Gojyo were not gullible, so it was only natural they did not take Goku's words.  
            Gojyo continued to taunt Goku, trying to lighten him up. "Are you sure, saru?"  
            Not really a smart move, since he merely aggravated Sanzo even more. "Leave him alone!"   
            THWACK!  
            Gojyo bent in pain. "Aiiiieeee…! That hurts!"  
            Goku was contemplating to himself, thinking of what Sanzo had just said. _Alone…? Sanzo wants me to be alone…? _Goku took a closer look—but not **too **close—at Sanzo. The monk had his head down, thus resulting in his bangs shielding his eyes from view. Nevertheless Goku did see the corner of Sanzo's mouth curved downwards—more crooked than usual.  
            _He must really abhor me…  
            _"Hey, saru, what are you thinking about?" Gojyo shattered his musings.  
            Goku, snapped out of his reflections, replied hastily, "Nande mo nai! I'm sleepy. I think I'll get a quick shut-eye." He lied down and closed his eyes. _Maybe I won't feel so hungry if I sleep…  
            _The ride appeared awkward from then on. The creepy silent that hung in the air even succeeded in making the cold Genjo Sanzo shift uncomfortably once in awhile.  
            The long stillness was broken by a very loud sound—the sound of a stomach churning, craving for victuals to allay the commotion it was suffering from.  
            Goku wrinkled his face, his hand clasped his stomach. The pain was too much to put up with.  
            Gojyo was clearly vexed. "Oi, saru…you'd better eat something…" He attempted to untie the knot on the box.  
            Goku could faintly smell the inviting fragrance of food. "No thanks…"  
            Hakkai insisted, "Just eat a little, it will do."  
            _No, once I start I can hardly stop…_ "No, I can handle this…" It was as if Goku was trying to assure himself. Goku turned away from the three of them. His stomach was still making that infuriating, atrocious music. And Sanzo could not take it anymore.  
            "Baka saru!!!" The monk whacked (poor) Goku with his Ultimate Paper-fan of Trepidation. "Stop giving me trouble!"  
            "…itai…" _Sou…I **am** troubling him…_  
            Sanzo sat back in his seat. "Are we anywhere near the next town?"  
            "Actually, we are," replied Hakkai, "But I suppose I can shorten the distance in no time, Right, Hakuryu?"  
            "Erm, Hakkai…the sky looks kind of dark…I think it's going to—you know…" interrupted Gojyo.  
            "Wakatta." The youkai kicked into high gear. "Hold on tight, minna-san!"

            Not surprisingly, before they knew it, they had arrived. They hurried into yet another motel. Hakkai arranged for their rooms. That done, he handed two keys to Sanzo. "Two rooms. I suppose we're sharing one?"  
            Gojyo eyed Hakkai frantically, his hands signaling wildly. _Hakkai, you dolt! Don't give him ideas! You promised you'll be accompanying me tonight!  
            _Sanzo, oblivious to the two, left to his room after a deep "Hn."  
            "Hakkai~!" wailed Gojyo.  
            Hakkai sighed. "Yare yare…Gojyo, I've to send Goku to his room. He looks awful."  
            Goku was leaning against a wall, looking out of the window. The downpour had started. Hakkai, feeling sorry for Goku, implored to escort him to his room. Goku did not argue in the least.  
            Hakkai watched Goku as the boy crawled on the bed. "I'll leave the food on this table, all right?" He gestured towards the huge box neatly situated on the table. "Be sure to—"  
            "...I won't touch them. You can bring them down." Goku did not look at him.  
            "But there's no use of your torturing yourself. We're all worried about you…"  
            Goku shook his head adamantly.  
            Hakkai, knowing only Sanzo could knock some sense into Goku's head, shut Goku's door and walked to the room opposite Goku's. He knocked once, not wanting to get on Sanzo's nerves. He knew what the rain had done to Sanzo's frame of mind only too well.  
            "Sanzo, sorry to disturb you, but Goku needs serious help. He won't listen to a word I say. Besides, I need to go out and buy a few urgent things…"  
            Sanzo answered from within. "Idiot."  
            "Ah, gomen…but I'm sure you know exactly what to do about Goku. You always do. I've to go now."  
            Knowing that Hakkai had gone, Sanzo stood up and opened his door. He saw that Goku's door was slightly ajar. Sanzo could see Goku's tiny frame from where he stood. He took the liberty of entering the shadowy room. Goku heard the sound Sanzo was making, that he turned to see.  
            Goku, somewhat astonished, could only utter "Sanzo…?"  
            Maybe he should not have said anything. He was starting to think that every syllable he uttered was giving Sanzo a nasty headache.  
            "Oi, why aren't you eating?" Sanzo leaned against the door.  
            Goku, unable to find his power of speech, shook his head.  
            "Answer me with your voice!"  
            Goku shrunk in apprehension at Sanzo's booming voice. "I'm not hungry."  
            Here, the authoress became aware that the last three words she just wrote under Goku's dialogue are the first in the "Top Ten Things Son Goku Would Never Say" but she had to go against the rule to make sure this story gets on the road—er, the net, she means. Then again, the story is already quite OOC. Just don't say she did not warn you…  
            Back to the story…  
            "Baka saru."  
            "I'm sorry. If you want to, I'll leave—right away."  
            Goku tried to get back on his two feet and headed towards the doorway. But Sanzo extended his leg, blocking the way out.  
            "Where do you think you're going?"  
            _Somewhere far away from Sanzo, perhaps… _"…I don't know. But I need to."  
            Goku tried to squeeze himself past the monk, but the blond, in one swift motion, had grabbed the monkey by his collar.  
            Goku tried to break free, but to no avail. "Hanasei, Sanzo!"  
            "Quiet." The blond walked over and placed Goku back on the bed.  
            Goku stared at Sanzo with those huge, bewildered eyes. But what Sanzo proceeded to do puzzled him even more. Sanzo unld the food box and after taking ten buns out, all piled on top of one another on a plate, he put it in front of Goku.  
            "Eat."  
            Goku gawked at the tempting buns, then shook his head. His neck was a tad cramped by his ample shaking of the head.  
            "Stubborn monkey." Sanzo picked the topmost bun and held it in front of Goku. Goku was swallowing his saliva in hopes of controlling his malnourishment. Tears were forming in his eyes. He was torn between two decisions. In addition, he was touched. Sanzo never showed so much emotion before.  
            Sanzo felt off the wall seeing those pearly tears sliding down Goku's delicate, supple cheeks. Without giving it a thought, Sanzo put his lean, sinewy arm around Goku. Goku broke down on the spot, burying his face in Sanzo's abdomen. Sanzo raised his arm, holding Goku's trembling head tenderly, keeping it composed, subduing Goku's sudden burst. He did not object to Goku soaking his black top.  
            "Come, eat. I'll feed you—as always."  
            Goku nodded in conclusion, succumbing to Sanzo's command. He bit into the bun in Sanzo's hand. A bun never tasted so heavenly savoury. "But why, Sanzo? I thought you hated me?"  
            Sanzo did not reply in a flash, for he was choosing his words carefully. Truth was, he was unsure of Goku's perception towards him. He never knew what Goku really thought of him. Was it solely a child's devotion to his father, or a pet's commitment to its owner?  
            Nonetheless Sanzo was certain of one thing—he wanted more. More than being simply a keeper to the little monkey.  
            But would Goku return his feelings?  
            "…Baka."  
            Goku grimaced in Sanzo's embrace, resulting Sanzo to tighten his hug, pulling Goku closer to him. "I can never hate the one thing that makes me feel better during rainy days."  
            Goku's cheeks flushed as his face softened. "Sanzo…but why were you so moody the whole day?"  
            Sanzo produced an empty cigarette box. "I was running out of cigarettes. That frigging town didn't have any."  
            "Sou ka…"  
            "I don't mind that now."  
            "Ne, Sanzo…you don't mind my humungous appetite, do you? I mean, does my constant wails annoy you that much?"  
            "Ahou…stop asking stupid questions…"  
            Sanzo's tone was mild, and that was sufficient an answer for Goku. He nuzzled closer to his owner. "Ah, the sun's out again. And I think I hear Hakkai's voice outside."  
            Sanzo released Goku and got into his robe.  
            "Where are you going?"  
            "Telling Hakkai he's that ero-kappa's roommate from now on. Oi, Goku…"  
            "…hai?" Goku's eyes were dancing in excitement.  
            "If I still see those food intact on the table, I'll personally see to it that you'll regret it for the rest of your life."  
            "…erm, wakatta!" He grinned from ear to ear.  
            Sanzo smirked vaguely in satisfaction. "Good." He closed the door behind him.  
            At that, Goku neared the table and exclaimed heartily. "I'm famished! Itadakimasu!"

- - - - [owari] - - - - - -

Authoress's Notes: Done! Now I'll have to get back with my other fics and my Saiyuki co-fic with my friends under the name of The Three Dimensions. I really have to stop juggling so many fics at once. But old habits are hard to get rid of…  
            Saa, thank you for reading! Leave me a review before you leave! Thanks again! *bows*


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